You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
