bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
