I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
