i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
