I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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