That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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