you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
