Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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