No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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