it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize