I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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