finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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