The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
