all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
