omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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