Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
