he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize