Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
