I want to have your abortion
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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