Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
