Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
