just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
