he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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