her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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