Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
