Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize