Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
