I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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