What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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