What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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