just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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