I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
