"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
