it wasn't lemon gatorade
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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