I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
