I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
