I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
