Cold hands, warm shart.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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