found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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