there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
