I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
