And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
