Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
