when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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