Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize