My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
