it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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