you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
