Sry I called you an 8
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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