yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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