I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize