So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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