dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
