just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
