is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
