why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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