If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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