ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize