chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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