Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
