An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
