i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize