what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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