She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
