Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
