one two three fourrrrnication!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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