Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so explain again why im purple
no
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
